“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16
I received a call within a couple of days from the director of the Brain Balance Center in Danvers, MA. Her response to my request was basically this: You cannot achieve the spectacular results at home that we do in the center. The at-home program is designed to help parents who live too far away from a Brain Balance Center. My heart just sank. I already knew from parent comments that this program costs thousands of dollars- it might as well be a million. Danvers seemed as far away as the moon, although in reality it’s 92 miles from my home.
This was one of those times that builds faith. I automatically defaulted to “impossible” but God had other plans! In a moment He lifted my heart and spoke to me- not in an audible voice, of course, but in that indescribable way He has of making you know that He wants you to know something- “Try Me, and see what I can do.” In a second I went from despair to hope. I listened to the details, asked questions, and shut off my phone. I was at a crossroads. Which direction do I go in? Did I really hear God, or was I desperately trying to stay out of the pit of depression by hoping that I did? If it really was God, then I needed to take the next step down that path. I couldn’t discount the fact of the immediate lifting of my sinking heart; God was leading me, and although the immediate road ahead was foggy, the clear path on the other road was to resign Kate and our family to more of the same struggle. And sometimes that’s what faith is all about: stepping into the unknown, knowing only that you can trust God to make happen what He chooses.
So I decided that the first step was to attend an informational meeting in Danvers, on July 18th. My dear friend, Kathie, who has spent a lot of time praying with me over the years, went with me. We were both impressed, and I signed Kate up for the assessments, which would take place on Wednesday and Friday of the next week. You have to understand several things that make these trips to Brain Balance an “event”. I don’t like driving much, primarily because I tend to get drowsy very easily. Probably a result of years of having babies and finding rest whenever I could get it. Any time I relax a bit, I start to fall asleep. So the thought of driving several hours is a bit disconcerting. I also get anxious if I don’t know where I’m going- butterflies in the stomach- I drive in Concord, and have a couple of times to Manchester. The last time I drove in Boston I was 19- the first and last time. So I was feeling really anxious about going to Danvers, and one afternoon I felt the panic rise just thinking about it. I was driving to the laundromat because the dryer was not working. And in that moment of panic, the Lord met me and instantly calmed my fears. Suddenly, I knew that I could do what I needed to. I drove to Danvers a couple of days later, with Kathie navigating (you’ve got to love Mapquest!). I can’t say that I was totally without a flutter in the belly, but I did it. And the next week I did it by myself, twice.
That was the second step, the evaluation. You don’t just walk in and ask for their services. They evaluate your child, and decide whether Brain Balance can help. They don’t want to waste anyone’s money or time on something that won’t help. There are 2 hours of sensory-motor assessments, and 2 hours of academic assessments. The following Monday, July 29th, Bob and I went down for the results: Kate was an excellent candidate. She went through all the tests and showed us where Kate’s deficiencies lie, which I already knew from having lived with her all these years, plus I’d read the book. She has a right-brain deficiency, which I’ll elaborate on a bit later. We agreed that she needed the program, but where was the money to come from? It’s $6,000 (minus a 10% discount if you pay up front). Like I said before, it may as well have been a million. Again, I was at a crossroads. Again, I could only move forward in faith, knowing that God was leading the way. So I began praying, and waiting…